I want to get married

Posted: August 21, 2008 in Blogging, blogroll, Credit, Family, Finance 4 Youth Family, Finance For Youth, Life, Relationships

Not me.  I did that once, and if it doesn’t take, I won’t do it again.  I like my choice, but I wouldn’t re-think it.

 

Last week, I told you about one of the conversations that I had while on hiatus.  I alluded to the fact that there were two such conversations that really made my head want to explode!  The second one was with a family member.

Here’s the interesting part:  I write for a site called “Finance For Youth”, and I always assumed I knew the definition of YOUTH.  The person I had this conversation with is over 40 years old, has retired from the military,  has an established life, and is as far from the concept of youth as I can imagine.  His comment illustrates perfectly why Finance For Youth is important, and why public schools desperately need to get on board with mandatory finance classes in high school (politicians, are you paying attention?  I’m available to discuss this!).

He tells me that he’s planning on getting married.  Okay, I can understand this.  I enjoy being married.  He’s been married before, and I firmly believe he enjoys getting married, but I’m not so sure about actually being married.  He’s been talking about this for a while now, so I really can’t remember if he is going to do the PRE-NUP that I urge anybody who is getting married to do.  I think he is, since both he and his fiance’ are established with property of their own already.  So, that’s good.

Then he tells me he is planning on paying for half the wedding (wedding, honeymoon, etc– everything!) up front, and getting a credit card with his fiance’ to pay for the rest.  In my head, tick tick tick, boom!

Here are my problems:

  1. Both he and his fiance’ make really good money!  He has two streams of income, and she is a school administrator that makes big bank.
    • Between the two of them, they should be able to pay for a really nice wedding.
  2. He is considering getting joint credit with someone who has student loan debt, a mortgage payment, and probably a lot of other debt to deal with to pay for a wedding.
    • First, the rule is always to not marry someone in debt, unless you are willing to pay for their debt.  If they are signing a pre-nup, they probably aren’t willing to pay each other’s debt.
    • Second, why are they paying for something they should be able to afford on credit?!?!?!?!
    • Third, the other rule is to never put something on credit that you will be paying for long after you will be enjoying it.  In this case, he’s paying for a wedding.  The wedding is a day.  It’s not even his first marriage, so it isn’t like he doesn’t know what one looks like. 
    • He’ll be paying for this one day for years, and not just in the way that all men pay for one day for years, even the rest of their lives (I kid, as I said, I enjoy being married, and I love my wife.  I wouldn’t change anything)

So I yelled at him for a while about the stupidity of what he was planning.  Let me make it clear, I have no problem with him getting married (again), I have no problem with the woman he’s marrying (although I probably should call her ‘girl’ since ‘woman’ might be insulting to her).  The only problem I have is how he is going about paying for it. 

So what do you people think of the situation?  I believe I was right in what I told him, but on the other hand, as is the case whenever anybody gets married, he’s putting up with a lot of guff from a lot of people over the wedding.

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Comments
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