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Sometimes, we get our noses all bent out of shape with working and trying to do the right thing. We try our best to live up to the QUALITIES OF SUCCESS, we save money like we should, we do good as much as possible, and that’s all a good thing.

Most of the time I spend online is spent at one of a couple of places: I’m either working on FINANCE FOR YOUTH, or I’m at school, trying to finish up my degree work. Sometimes, I go nuts working on one or the other all day long. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, and I enjoy the idea of finally meeting a huge goal (school), but sometimes…,

Anyways, a couple of days ago, I was reading the news, and I found a great site. This site is so stupidly funny, and call it exhaustion or call it whatever, but I really dig this site. I’m pretty late to this party, I freely admit. I’ve heard of it before, but the concept seemed so stupid that I passed on it, but I really have to plug (not that they need it) CHUCK NORRIS FACTS. It’s a lot of reading, but there are a lot of funny “facts” about the great martial artist (and “actor”?). Check it out, have some fun!

After I found the site, I couldn’t help but quote a few off for my wife’s (enjoyment?) benefit. I can tell by the look on her face (eyes either closed or rolling to the back of her head, with fingers in both ears, or running out of the room entirely) that she is waiting with bated breath to hear another one.

OBJECTIVITY is one of those QUALITIES OF SUCCESS that really fits in a couple of places. It’s one of those that hasn’t always been easy for me, but one that I have worked hard to live up to at all times. Objectivity is the strict adherence to the TRUTH, not as you would like it to be, not as you want people to believe it, not even as STEPHEN COLBERT FEELS it should be, but as it really is.

For young people, there are a lot of times when you wish truth would fit your definitions, despite everything you know to be true; you wish that you had done your homework on time, you wish that you didn’t have to work to accomplish your goals (or those of your parents), and you wish that life wouldn’t come crashing down on you as soon as you get out of school. I’m not immune to it either; I really wish that I was as good an employee as I think I am. The problem is, I know that I’m not. I know that there are places where I could improve, and that with these improvements my life would be easier.

My parents had a saying when it came to wishing and the truth; it’s actually a vulgar and wildly inappropriate saying, so I won’t repeat it here, but the gist is this: Wishes really have no real substance, and less value than the least valuable of stuff.

The point of objectivity is, to be successful, you have to understand the reality of any situation, and plan accordingly. If you are willing to accept that your wishes, hopes, and dreams are nothing more than this UNLESS you are willing to put in the hard work to realize them, you have a pretty good shot at success. If you aren’t, maybe Qualities of Success isn’t right for you right now.

When working, you have to understand that life is rarely fair. There are going to be times when your wishes will run afoul of reality. Your choice, when this happens (notice I said ‘when’, and not ‘if’), is to accept reality and work within the constraints of reality, or to try and BS your way through, hoping that reality will suspend itself for you. When at work, some things to keep in mind:

1. Not everybody is there to help you. Some people are, but others are there for their own purposes, and still others are going to actively try to screw you over.

2. Not everybody is there to screw you. Some will try, and their success will be based on your willingness to allow them.

3. You might have a better way of doing things, but that doesn’t mean your way will work, or that it will even be attempted.

4. You may think you have a better way of doing things, but you might not be aware of reasons why your way isn’t better.

5. Some people will have more experience than you at something.

6. Some people will claim to have more experience just because they have been there longer.

7. Know the difference between both of these types of people.

8. Most bosses are there to ensure the company is run smoothly, not to make sure you are taken care of.

9. Some bosses will believe that the best way to run a company smoothly is to make sure their employees are well taken care of.

10. No matter what you do for a living, you will experience times when you wish you were doing something else. That’s okay, as long as you think very strongly before making the change.

With money, objectivity isn’t nearly so complicated: You will find people that will tell you that they only way to be financially successful is by investing in x. X may be Real Estate, or it may be Entrepreneurialship, or it may be something entirely different. Objectively, you can be wealthy working in Real Estate, and there are no shortage of entrepreneurs that are wealthy. There are also wealthy actors, athletes, and politicians. There are also plenty of wealthy worker types who just do their job better than everybody else can. Guess who has more wealthy people?

The most important aspect of objectivity is in life, when you have to maintain your objectivity in order to maintain your image, or brand. I’m pretty sure that my methods are the best for young people, but objectively I know that there are some young people who won’t get the most from F4Y. For whatever reason, F4Y isn’t for them. I have to maintain my objectivity and understand that this is the case, and work harder to make sure I’m giving the best information to those that I am reaching, while still maintaining hope that more will come to the fold.

INTEGRITY separates those that are successful from those that might have some money or power. Integrity is the difference between a historical figure and a legend. Integrity is something that you have to have, or you have some serious problems.

When I talk about “experts”, those quotes are there for a reason. I really don’t consider someone to be an expert in personal finance simply because they have the ability to sell a book, or a system, or because they are on TV telling me that my life isn’t as good as theirs. In the past, especially YESTERDAY, I have been critical of some bloggers out there who talk out their doubletalk their way through the subject of personal finance (there is a phrase I’m thinking here, but this is a family friendly blog, after all) and obviously don’t walk their talk. I have the same general problem with other “experts”, who value style over any semblance of substance. These people disgust me.

My entire adult life, I have made (sometimes difficult) decisions about dealing with other people. Some times I made the right choice, and others I royally screwed up whatever I was trying to accomplish. Either way, I have stood up and accepted the consequences for my actions and words. I do this because anything less would be an admission that I have no integrity.

Earlier this year, I got into a lot of trouble at work. I would have been fired, except that my bosses know that I told them the absolute truth, and didn’t try to hedge or lie about what happened. I could have; it would have been really easy. Other employees and clients would have backed me up, and wouldn’t have held it against me. But I wouldn’t have ever been able to look them in the eye again. For me to have lied would have destroyed the meaning for their willingness to back me up. Times where I have been fired, my bosses have always expressed how disappointed they were because they knew that I wouldn’t be replaced by someone with the same level of integrity. Small consolation, but when they say this I do feel a little better.

When you are at work, one important thing for you to remember is that you have to be willing to do as good a job for the worst customers as you do for your favorites. In fact, one could almost say that you shouldn’t have favorites, or that every customer should be your favorite. Practically, I know that everybody will have favorites, and that you will go a little further for these favorites than normal. But you should try.

With people in your life, they need to believe you when you say something. They need to believe in your character, that you are a good and worthy person. You demonstrate this by actions, by helping people when possible, by looking out to make sure that others aren’t being taken advantage of, and by living the QUALITIES OF SUCCESS whenever you can.

Also, don’t be too proud to ask for help when you need it. Doing so will make people look at you with respect, and will make them more willing and even eager to help you. They will also have more respect for your opinions.

The other day, I was talking to a group of young adults about personal finance, and one of them mentioned that there was a person from the bank at their school. They talked about how they [the students] would be really smart and cool if they used the bank’s products to become rich! It seems that a lot of students went home and told their parents that they wanted to take advantage so they wouldn’t be left behind. I’ve worked for institutions that would send a sales rep out to the local schools and colleges to drum up business, so I asked what she talked about. Without going into too many details, the students who took up the bank’s paid representative got royally screwed, and that’s really a shame.

This started me thinking about how young people especially are taken advantage of by so-called “experts”. I see this happen a lot, especially when it comes to personal finance. Throughout the blogosphere, there are bloggers out there who have a good story to tell, some who really know how to “spin a yarn”, and others who have real authority in their topics. Unfortunately, you also have some who don’t know what they are talking about, or those who have a basic grasp of some particular gimmick, but can’t flesh out their blogs with any meaningful way of conveying that message to the masses.

Before this becomes a flame war that I would most certainly lose, let me say that there are, by far, many more good bloggers than bad: All of the blogs on my blogroll are good, and there are many, many more that aren’t up there simply because I haven’t had the time to read through all of them before adding them. This is pretty much for one person, who, even though they are little more than a troll, has the colossal brass ones to believe that they speak with any authority! This person’s claim to “fame” is little more than stealing the ideas of others and putting them on (his or) her blog verbatim!!

People with whom I have had personal conversations about this person have suggested that I just out them for who and what they are, and I have rejected this out of hand for a few reasons; First, I really, REALLY hate being THAT GUY. Look, if you get you’re happy-ya-ya’s by doing this kind of thing, have fun. I’m pretty sure you will eventually feel some very large tooth marks on your backside for your troubles. Second, who knows—somebody might stumble upon their site, and learn something despite themselves! If that’s even a remote possibility, I’m not going to be the guy that screws that up. Third, and this is the most important thing, what if I’m wrong?

In this case, I’m not, but what if I was wrong about this person? Do I really want my brand to be associated with tawdry personal attacks and wrong information? Even knowing I’m right here, is that how I want Finance For Youth to be known? Wouldn’t it be better for F4Y to be known for giving accurate information, and not about blog wars?

With all of that being said, all of us at F4Y want you to make sure that you are getting the best information when it comes to personal finance. When someone gives you advice, think about who’s giving the advice, and what “right” do they have to give you advice? This is a very personal question for you. Are you okay with taking advice from someone who may have practical experience even if they lack training or education? Do you need to hear from someone with a lot of letters at the end of their name, regardless of whether they have been in your situation in the last century or so?

Growing up, my parents placed a really high premium on being the best. They had a lot of sons, and we were constantly compared to each other. That still happens today, but it makes more sense since we are now all adults and on an even playing field. I used to get bothered by the comparisons, and I remember thinking that people shouldn’t have to compete all the time.

When I got my first few jobs, I tried to not compete: I would try to blend in and do enough of the job to keep my job, but not much more. Because of my upbringing, this became very difficult to maintain, and I would naturally become more competitive. When this started happening, I realized that I was becoming the best at which ever job I was doing.

Fast-forward a few years, and I’m a fairly new teller at a bank. I’m the fastest teller in the branch, and I’ve won several awards for being most efficient, friendliest, and others. I find myself in line for a promotion to the New Accounts Area. I ace the interview, and get the job! Not long after, I find out that I really sucked at New Accounts. I was too fast, and not as friendly as I was as a teller. My boss calls me in for a progress report, and we talk about the issue. He told me that he was disappointed, because I had all the traits and talent necessary to be one of the best, but for some reason, I was barely mediocre. Over the next few weeks, we figured out that I was still operating like a teller, and had fallen into a comfort zone that would have been excellent as a teller, but just wasn’t cutting it in my new position.

That’s the funny thing about EXCELLENCE, is that it always changes. There’s nothing wrong with being the best there is at what you do, and there is certainly nothing wrong with pursuing excellence, but you have to understand that you will probably never catch it. And if, for some reason you do, the bar will instantly be set higher for you to try to achieve it again.

But what constitutes excellence? I have always thought that doing the right thing while still doing the correct thing is pretty close. I know, those thoughts seem like the same thing, but they aren’t. Eventually, you will see the difference. Excellence is also about challenging yourself at all times to improve. Let’s get it out in the open and say that you will never reach perfection. I’ll never come close to it. The truth is; I really don’t want to. Once I get there, then what? How do I improve on that?

For your purposes, try to be THE BEST. Try to be perfect. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get there, but never stop trying. One of the ways to help your pursuit is to follow the QUALITIES OF SUCCESS. Once you’ve gotten to the point where you are living them, you will see how much fun resetting the bar towards increased personal productivity can be.

I’m not going to start with a little anecdote today. Today, we are talking about HONOR, which to my mind, is one of, if not the most important QUALITIES OF SUCCESS.

Honor is more than you standing tall with your shoulders back and your chest out. If you were a company, honor is your brand. You have to think about how you put yourself out there for people to see of you. When people see you or talk about you, what would they say about you? Do you like or dislike how people think about you?

I’m not usually big on quoting presidents, but CALVIN COLLIDGE once said, “No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.” The thing is, as important as honor is to posses, sometimes the best way to define it is by showing examples. In fact, the only way to prove that you have honor is by demonstration.

If you have been following the Qualities of Success, and have endeavored to embody these qualities, every day, you are well on your way to proving your honor. But be careful, honor isn’t something that you DO, or something that you can turn off and on. You either have it or you don’t, and once you have shown yourself to not have it, it is next to impossible to redeem yourself in many people’s eyes.

Showing honor in the workplace is pretty easy to explain; just make sure you do the right thing at all times, and demonstrate all of the Qualities of Success whenever possible, and you are fine. But how do you show honor with saving or budgeting? The short answer is, the exact same way! If you manage your affairs (money), with all of the Qualities of Success in mind, you will have no choice but to manage these same affairs with honor.

If you fail to obey the law, you can pay huge fees or lose your freedom. If you fail to obey rules in class, you can get kicked out, suspended, or detention. If you don’t obey your parents—well, it really depends on how your parents feel about discipline. The point is, we spend a lot of your lives learning OBEDIENCE in some fashion or another. In fact, up until recently, obedience used to be highly regarded as a positive attribute.

The funny part is, even though obedience has become a bad word for many adults who think that doing what you are told is somehow –beneath- them, when you look at those who are highly successful, every one of them are obedient. They may not be obedient to everything, and they may be obedient to degrees, but that’s okay.

Here’s what I’m talking about: You are at work, and your boss tells you to sweep the floor, since there are some bigwigs from Corporate coming in soon. What do you do? You sweep the floor. It’s in your interests to do so, as it is in the interests of the boss to tell you to. Similar situation, you are about to leave to go to a doctors appointment that was pre-scheduled and approved by your boss. Your boss tells you that he wants you to stay anyways, because (s)he wants to go play golf this afternoon. Do you still do what you are told?

You need to understand when to be obedient, and when to not. Some things to consider:

-What are the consequences for not obeying?

-What are the benefits for obeying, especially if you are being told to do something outside your normal job?

-Would obeying cause you to do something that you are personally, morally against?

-Does the person telling you what to do have any legitimate right to do so?

-Are they telling you something that is against something that you have been told by someone else?

So, who should you obey? It really depends on you, but here are a few ideas to start with? Under no circumstances should you be blindly obedient just because someone has a title. You need to think for yourself, and above all else, be obedient to yourself.

Parent(s): Probably
Spouse: Definitely
Boss(s): Depending on what they say
Everyone else: Depending on how you feel.

Lex Luthor is an icon for wealth, greed, and evil. I don’t know who he was designed after, but I have a few ideas for who it could be. Unfortunately, all too often this is the image that is evoked for wealth and success. Somehow, the idea came up that you have to be cold and heartless in order to be successful. It’s a real shame, because it’s just not true.

I’ve often noticed that when doing something solely for myself, I don’t do as good a job as I do when someone else benefits. I’m sure that psychologists would go crazy with that statement, and would ascribe all sorts of feelings of low self-worth and such, but the truth is, when I do something where I am the only beneficiary, I am satisfied with less, and when I do something for someone else, I try to make sure I do at least as well as they would do, and better if I can. Sometimes it gets to the point where I have to structure my actions in such a way that someone else benefits, or risk a less than excellent result.

In order to be truly successful, I suggest that you have to act in a selfless manner. I think part of it is karma coming back, and part of it is just that you also feel the need to be liked and appreciated for what you do, but whatever the reason, once you make everything you do all about you, you will do worse than normal.

Let’s look at the workforce. I’ve seen several times when someone is asked to do something that is not part of their normal job duties, but would help others. While there is nothing technically wrong with saying no, those that do are also saying that they are clearly in the game for their own benefit, and won’t go outside of that little bubble of comfort for a company. Others, who look at others’ needs above their own, give off an aura of good will and wind up going further. My wife fits in this category, as does my mother, and as do I. When we are at work, we look for ways to help out our coworkers and our clients. My wife is always doing way more than her job description to help those that either can’t or won’t, and she often reaps benefits for doing so. I’ve told you about my car buying EXPERIENCE, and how I feel that her being such a good co-worker has helped the process. Of course, I’ve also seen the DOWNSIDE to being overly helpful, but I think there is a net benefit for her.

When dealing with finances, I’ve found that it also helps to have an eye towards helping others. This type of thing seems to have a snowball effect as it comes back. Practically, I could easily talk about tax implications, but I want to keep this in a tone that most young people can understand: When you do good things for others, others will do good things for you. When you only do for yourself, don’t count on anybody else doing for you.