Why I never, ever, ever use hyperbole

HYPERBOLE is a sometimes useful tool.  It can illustrate worst-case scenarios, and it can sometimes help to identify arguments that are weak.  Sometimes it even illustrate to another how one is feeling vs. their own rational reaction to circumstances.  For those who don’t get it, here’s how it works:

Occasionally, I might forget to pick up my socks.  My wife, who does the majority of the laundry, gets frustrated with having to go behind me to pick up smelly socks.  So she may say something like, “I’m tired of always having to pick up after you.  You never pick up your socks.”  Obviously, she’s exaggerating for effect.  Clearly, she doesn’t always have to pick up my socks, but her saying so lets me know that this (relatively) minor issue is important to her.  When I respond to her, “You are always complaining.  It’s like you have nothing better to do than whine to me about this.  Seriously, nothing is more important than this?”  I’m engaging in hyperbole because I don’t have anything better to come back with.  Clearly, if picking up socks shouldn’t be a big deal for her, than it shouldn’t be a big deal for me either.  But I’m being lazy at the time, and I figure I can get away with not doing something that is a minor inconvenience by continuing the argument.  (BTW men, this is not a smart way to keep a healthy, happy relationship going.  Proceed at your own risk.  In other words, just pick up the socks, okay?)

When Barack Obama tells us that the economy is stronger because his policies have saved (?) or created a million jobs, this is also hyperbole.  Well, that’s not quite fair.  This is, in reality, a lie.  First, there is no measure of “saving” a job, and in the case of creation, many of the jobs created turned out to not exist.  But in the interest of fairness to the office of President, let’s just call it hyperbole.

Politicians on both sides of the aisle will use hyperbole to scare or intimidate people who don’t take the time to learn the facts on their own.  Worse than this however, is the use of hyperbole by those who work for “news” companies.  Fox has Sean Hannity and Bill O’reilly, CNN had Lou Dobbs, and MSNBC has Rachel Maddow, Keith Olberman, Ed Schultz, and a few other, minor players.  The problem I have with them is that they pass themselves off as news people, and report half-truths, lies, and most importantly, hyperbole to uneducated and uninformed masses.

I went through all that for this:

I went through a sales pitch robed in a job interview.  Without naming the company, I will say that they were really slick in presentation.  They appealed to my interest because they talked about financial education.  They positioned themselves as educators.  They also talked a lot about me making a lot of money.  Now, I’m not against making money, but that is hardly my primary focus when considering work.  I can make a lot of money doing something that I don’t like for only so long before I start looking elsewhere.

What turned me off of them was their constant use of hyperbole to show how lucrative their company was.  It immediately made any argument they had weaker.  Ultimately, I walked out as they were offering me a “chance” to be part of their team.

Was this a missed opportunity?  We’ll never know, but while I might not have the opportunity to work for their company, they also lost out on a true educator with my name, experience, and skills.  All for use of hyperbole.

All work and no play…,

Given that Halloween is over, and it was a blast, this movie always scared the crap out of me!  Jack is always awesome, but here and in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, he was awesome!  But this scene reminds me that too often in life we look, head down, at what is right in front of us, and don’t pay attention to what is going on in the rest of the world.

I’m guilty of it.  I focus on work a lot.  When I’m at work, I rarely pay attention to the little things like making friends with coworkers, or anything else really that isn’t directly connected on the work I am supposed to be doing.  Look, I’m not telling you to slack off and not work when you are supposed to, but sometimes it feels good to connect with the world outside of work.  Sometimes that means going out with co-workers to clubs or diners for a (soft)drink, or taking lunch together when permitted.  Sometimes it just means to connect, in any way possible, outside of work.

Here’s an example:  At my last job, I would talk to my co-workers when it had to do with work.  I didn’t become as friendly with them on a personal level as I could have.  The shame of it is that these are good people.  I liked them.  All isn’t lost though.  Through social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, and others, I have had the opportunity to see a little inside of their lives, and they have been able to see a little inside mine.

Facebook has also become a place where I can get together with family and friends that I don’t always get to see.  I enjoy playing several of the games, and competing with friends and family.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t be careful when using these sites.  It should go without saying (but it doesn’t) that you have to be careful with what you put on these sites.  Once you put something on the net, its out there forever.  You need to worry about that when you are taking pictures of yourself in positions that you wouldn’t want your grandmother or employer to see.  Many employers are looking at Facebook and MySpace to see if there is anything out there that they don’t want to be connected with.  So be careful with language, pictures, and anything else that you put on the net.

One other thing, if you are already on these sites, be smart about your posting.  There have been several news stories out there about people (especially young people), who would make dumb choices that came back to bite them.  Stories about people calling in sick from work, and then posting onto their MySpace pages that they were at the beach or somewhere else.  I’ve even heard of collectors using these sites to repossess cars and other items when dumb people didn’t pay for them as agreed.  So don’t do that either.

If you’ve seen my site, you know I am on Facebook and Twitter.  I have a MySpace account, but I don’t use that one much anymore.  I find that most of my readers have grown up a little, and no longer use that particular site.  I also have a group called Finance For Youth.  I’ve just started it, so there are no other members.  Click on my card at the bottom of this page, and friend request me.  Let me know that you are a reader of F4Y, and join the group.  Have a little fun with life and connect with those around you.

 

Clash of the Titans

Ordinarily, I don’t care when big companies get screwed by other big companies. It didn’t bother me that Bank of America had to cut the salary for several of their executives. Hey, they screwed Americans for years, making huge bucks for it. I also don’t get too bothered when Walmart is pushed out of a community. Maybe I’ll care more when they start paying a living wage to their employees or stop undercutting American manufacturing industry.

But when two big industries try to wring out that last buck in such a way as the individual gets screwed- where the only choice is hard or harder- and when they use the government to accomplish this, I get really peeved.

Case in point: Right now, many of you have debit cards from your bank or credit union. I remember my first Visa branded debit card, and I still believe these are the best things to come out of financial institutions. For those who don’t use these cards (and I know a few), here’s how they work. You put money in your checking account (like normal). Instead of having to write out physical checks, you can use these cards wherever you would use a credit card with the same branding. The money comes out of your account. Easy peezy. So you go to Walmart to buy something, and use your debit card just like you would use a credit card.

On the back-end, your bank or credit union charges Walmart a few cents for each transaction using a debit card. Walmart agreed to this because there is no downside for them. These transactions are cheaper for the company, more secure, and quicker to process than checks are. They are saving tons of money on this. And because Walmart doesn’t do anything that doesn’t make Walmart money, they increase their prices to compensate for the fees they are charged.

Recently, some genius at Walmart, and other companies, have figured that they can make even more money by jumping on the populist bandwagon and piling on the financial institutions. They have gone to Congress to ask that banks and credit unions lose the ability to charge companies these fees. They say that they are trying to help the people, who have to pay more money because of these fees. Make the financial institutions charge these fees directly to the customer, and all will be better.

See, this is where I get really annoyed. These fees aren’t for PEOPLE who want to use a debit card instead of checks. There is no bad side for a consumer who wants to be more environmentally friendly, more secure, and more technologically advanced, and the financial institutions don’t want to shift this interchange fee to the consumer. This is part of doing business. But Walmart, and others, are trying to get one less fee charged to them, without lowering prices for the consumer. So where does that leave you and me? We get crushed. If this plan is accepted by Congress, banks will shift that fee to us. Except instead of being a few cents out of every purchase (I think it works out to a quarter per purchase, but don’t quote me), we will have a monthly usage fee for using our debit card.

Is there anything we can do about it? Well sort of. Right now, Congress has gone ape—t wild on punishing banks and screwing any of us little guys that get in the way. It seems as if Congress members, many of whom have never had to work outside of high paying government jobs, don’t care about those of us who do have to worry about little things like excess fees and higher prices. But you should at least have your voice heard. Go to your financial institution and ask to speak to the manager. He or She is best equipped to put you in contact with the correct representative for your area. Many local institutions already have an advocacy program in place.

Why don’t you have a piece of candy?

Sure, I could talk about a lot of important things that deal with the economy and finance, but where would the fun be in that?  I suppose that some mentions need to be made about important issues:

 

Dow closes above 10k-  Yay?  So, we’ve had basically a decade of nothing.  In 1999, we hit 10k for the first time.  I remember where I was, and I remember talking with some financial people and we all agreed that we had a few years of potential to play before things hit the fan.  If you were smart, cunning, and not too greedy, you could make a lot of money.

Last year, the Dow Jones Industrial Average hit the benchmark number on the way down.  Funny, nobody was cheering then.

I’m not even talking about other things that are tied in with this number, such as the pesky little fact that the market is still down about 30% from a record high in the 14k range two years earlier, or gold was roughly half of what they are today at about $835 per oz., or any number of other scary but true stats.

 

Unemployment rate reaches 9.8%-  Well, this only tells part of the story.  For my audience, those under 18, the unemployment rate is a staggering 26%!  This means that for every young person between 16-24, more than 1 out of every 4 is out of work but would like to be working.

 

No, I’m not talking about those things.  I’m talking about something that is more important to me—Halloween.

Halloween is a big deal in my family.  My wife and I started dressing up and going to Disneyland a few years ago with her sister, brother-in-law, and nephew.  Every year since then, our group has gotten bigger, and we have resorted to finding themes to go as.

Some notable themes were Gilligan’s Island (with the nephew being Gilligan), a Gryffindor Quidditch team, and last year, characters from DC comics’ Justice League world.  We usually go for a “realistic” interpretation of the character.  It is one thing to go to a store and get a costume with a plastic mask that has a slit for the mouth, but we want to look like what the character would look like if they lived in this world. 

Some of these costumes were fairly easy to put together, and some were really expensive.  This year, mostly because of the Depression, we went cheap.  That’s not to say that we didn’t have a grand plan, of course we did!

On October 9th, 2009, 12 brave souls attempted to do something that I don’t think has been attempted:

We were going to Rickroll
Disney’s California Adventure!

For those who don’t understand the concept of Rickrolling, Wikipedia has a great explanation HERE. 

There are pictures from some of the participants on Facebook, and I’ll probably put a few up there myself.  I’d like to mention CAFEPRESS.COM and THINKGEEK.COM, as the official clothing providers for this event.  I really like the personal soundtrack shirt, and I think every guy involved does too.

Was it a perfect “roll”?  Not even close.  The people who were going to understand the joke got it and laughed hard.  The people who wouldn’t get it—didn’t.  But that’s okay.  At the end of the day, 9 adults and 3 future adults had a lot of fun, and we didn’t have to go into debt to do it.

So as you go through this season, ask yourself whether it’s more important to have the most expensive costume, or whether having fun with fun people is more important.  You’d be surprised at costumes you can put together from real clothes and thrift store finds that don’t suck if you put some imagination into them.

If you have a cool costume or a cool party, send me a link to the pictures so we can all see what kind of fun the readers have!

I wish this could happen to me more often!

Sorry for not posting for a while.  A lot of things happened that conspired to get in my way and stop me from posting as I wanted to.  Some were perfect for posting, and will eventually show up here.  Others were deeply personal, and probably tainted my attitudes a little bit towards youth and personal finance.  I had to take some time away to solidify how I felt about this topic.  Those are issues for a later time.

A family member that I have spoken about many times, recently got into a situation that I find highly enviable.  She was offered a job at a company doing what she wanted to do for a living.  Then she got a second call from another company, offering a similar offer.

In this job market, getting even one job offer is something to be proud of, as I was very proud of my family member.  But to be offered two jobs, given her experience and the scarcity of jobs out there, that is amazing, and I was extremely happy for her.  But how should one handle this situation if it ever comes up?

1. First, whenever offered a job, ask to have some time to consider the offer.  You don’t want to sound too desperate for a job.  You also don’t want to make any snap decisions.  Most companies understand that you need some time.  Don’t take take more than 24-48 hours to make a decision though, or you might wait too long.
2. Look at the whole offer.  Money is nice, and it may eventually be the determining factor, but there are other things that you should consider before making a decision.
   • Total Salary.
   • Hours (how many hours you will work per week).
   • Schedule.
     • I worked a job where the schedule literally made me sick.  I was working very early in the morning, and I never made the adjustment to the schedule.  The best I could do was muddle through, giving less than I would otherwise be capable of giving.
   • Atmosphere.  Sometimes you feel more comfortable in an office where there is a strict chain of command and communication, other times, you will feel more comfortable in a more casual atmosphere.
3. Talk to people you trust about the offer(s) you have in front of you.  Your eyes will be clouded by the euphoria of being offered a job.  Other people might see things that you aren’t even looking for.
4. Once you make a decision, make sure you are gracious and thank all the companies that made you an offer.  Do this before you accept the other job.  You don’t want to alienate a company that was once willing to make you a job offer.  Who knows what the future holds?  Be honest, and explain the reasons why you are taking another job.
5. In the event that one of the companies offers you a counteroffer, start the process over again, and let the other company know what is going on. 

Communication is the key here.  As long as you are honest and open with all parties, you stand a better chance of not getting screwed.  Of course, this all depends on your personal circumstances.  I know people who have been out of work for a long enough time that they need to take the first job offered to them so they can get to work immediately.  They have bills to pay and self-esteem to rebuild.  But if you are in a situation where you can wait 24-48 hours, you will almost always do better.